Is there a Girlfriend type and a Wife type?

I heard this phrase a long time ago, that some women are girlfriends and others are wives.

The girlfriend is the hot party-girl, she’s always up for a wild time. She doesn’t want responsibility, at least not in the relationship sense. Maybe she’s a career woman, maybe she just doesn’t want to settle down.

The wife is more nurturing and “homey” (notice that word does NOT have an L in it). She’s more pretty, or beautiful, than hot. If you talk to a woman and can see that she would be a great home-maker, and mother, she’s the girl you want to marry. Because she’s gonna take care of her man and family in the long-run.

This phrase is super biased and totally not PC. But I can’t help but wonder if there is some truth to it. The song Mary was the marrying kind by Kip Moore was on the other day and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

Let’s get personal.

I think I’m the marrying kind. I’m currently single. Unfortunately. But I am definitely a one-man, kids, 2-car garage and white picket fence type of gal. I cook, I bake, I clean. I actually like budgeting finances and folding laundry. And my husband isn’t likely to stray far from our bed 😉

I also totally like “boy” movies. Yes I like chick flicks, but if I only get to watch them during girl’s nights and while folding the laundry, that’s ok. Husband can pick anything but horror movies for us to watch…as long as the movie doesn’t have snakes. That is a deal-breaker. Fast and Furious, Marvel, Bourne, Bond, Mission Impossible, Heist Movies…. some of my favourites.

I am happiest when I am serving others. I possess a generous heart. One of my biggest dreams is to one day be rich enough that I don’t have to work, and can donate my time to others who are less fortunate. I want a husband and family to take care of, to make happy, to surprise with a favourite meal or treat. I expect flowers. Not every week. But once every month or two would be perfect. Little gestures to show that you were thinking of me.

So you see, I’m the marrying kind. Not the girlfriend kind. I don’t sleep around. I don’t drink. I hate being surrounded by people I don’t know. A few are fine, but parties aren’t my thing. I’d rather go to a bonfire. The type that has 20 people max. And family style gatherings with a million kids running around. I want mommy-friends and a strong man at my side.

So if I don’t feel like I’m the girlfriend type, but know that I would make a kickass wife who would always stand behind my guy … I guess that means that I do think there is a girlfriend type and a wife type. And I don’t quite know how to feel about that.

xx

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Hold Me by Anna Zaires – book review

This is a series of three books, the third of which is Hold Me, and I’m reviewing it in this post. I have already posted reviews of the first two books (Twist Me; Hold Me) and this review WILL contain SPOILERS for them.

Anna Zaire writes a couple of series. The one that I am going to review is a modern, new adult, (very) dark romance. The male protagonist (Julian) is an anti-hero, a very successful international weapons dealer. In the first novel, he kidnapped 18yo Nora and took her to his extremely remote private island in the South Pacific where he held her captive, a victim for his violent erotic urges, bending her mind to his will. In the second, they marry, somewhat against her will, and start to build a new life together before their old enemies kidnap Julian and torture him for information. Nora has realized that she loves him and convinces his security to allow her to risk her life to save them both, something she ultimately succeeds at, but not without some consequences.

book 3

Book Blurb:

Captor and captive. Lovers. Soulmates.

We’re all that and more.

We thought we were past the worst of it. We thought we finally had a chance.

We thought wrong.

We’re Nora and Julian, and this is our story.

***Hold Me is the conclusion of the Twist Me trilogy, told from Nora & Julian’s point of view.***

—                    —                    —

Hold Me continues to follow the evolution of Julian and Nora’s relationship, which began in Twist Me. Now a (mostly) united front, Nora has admitted her true feelings for Julian, acknowledging her love for him and accepting the nature of their relationship. She decides it doesn’t matter how their relationship started and gives up on wondering if it can all be boiled down to psychological programming and stockholm syndrome. She wants to be with him, even though their relationship is unequal, and now accepts the dominance and submission aspects of their relationship and the power exchanges that occur. Her only remaining desire is to see Julian also admit his love for her, loving her as the person she has become rather than an object under this thumb.

Hold me is still an excellent read, but I didn’t like it as much as either of the preceding books, for a couple of reasons which will be the focus of my review.

Firstly, Nora’s parents were introduced in a limited capacity in the second installment during the webcam wedding scene, but their presence in this book is greatly expanded. I liked how the Mum and Dad had different attitudes and abilities to manage Julian and what they regard as their daughter’s brainwashed ramblings about her husband. But I would have liked to have seen Zaires expand upon the interactions between Julian and Nora’s parents, particularly without Nora present. He kidnapped their daughter, twice!, married her hastily and moved her to another continent permanently, where she now resides with him, despondent and abused (or so her parents believe). They understandably bit their tongues around Nora to keep from alienating her, but I felt that the book built to an explosive confrontation between the parents and Julian, one that never occurred.

The second thing that took away from the book in my opinion, was the high octane, overly dramatic car chase between Julian’s troops and the Irish-Chicago Mafia. Between the three books, Julian has lost well over 100 men, all of whom are supposedly highly trained and many are former Spec-Ops. So far, they only seem to be good at their chauffeuring services, and beating up unarmed teenagers. Seriously, is he not scraping the bottom of the barrel yet for men to put on assignment? He really shouldn’t have lost Peter’s services so easily. He needs the tough Russian bruiser on his side at this point.

At the end of the day, the three books have built up Julian as this unstoppable force – even with the torture by the Middle East group in book 2, he didn’t break – but the local mob and cops just about had them with one car chase. It would have been better to not have the cops and mob team up (an unbelievable plot-point in my opinion) and have Julian take care of them without losing half the men he did. The scene just made him seem like less of a badass, which is exactly how you don’t want this series to end.

Despite three paragraphs of complaints, I did love Hold Me and gave it a very good rating. It starts out differently than the others, with Julian using a much gentler approach with Nora. He will never change, but he does learn to embrace different aspects of his personality to manage her that, thus far, he only expressed while she was in hospital.

After the horrors of the second book, both characters are in need of healing, and Nora requires a gentle touch. She is badly traumatized, suffering from panic attacks and night terrors. She has always had Julian’s protection, but this development lends her the emotional protection and support that was missing from their relationship, bringing them closer together. Julian even brings a psychologist to their compound to work with Nora.

It takes some brass balls for her kidnapper to move a professional mental health expert in with them to work with the abductee and be secure in the knowledge that his own programming of Nora will not be affected!! While he may not be able to admit it yet, he has fallen in love with her.

I loved the pregnancy that Zaires wrote in. She did it differently than authors usually do, and it helped to re-establish the relationship parametres between Nora and Julian. She wonders if he impregnated her on purpose, deceiving her with the implantation of a fake birth control device in her arm, and is able to take him for his word when he assures her otherwise, because if he had wanted her pregnant, he would have made it happen regardless of her wishes and wouldn’t have hidden it, something she knows. After seeing a softer side of Julian for much of the book, this scene helps to ground them in the roles that were established in Twist Me, and that Nora has just accepted will never change.

* * * *

xx