I wasn’t planning on writing this post today. I was supposed to be doing a book review. But it’s turned out to be one of the shittiest days I’ve had in a really. long. time.
So I cried and I muttered and I hid my head under the covers for awhile, only slightly thankful that I got this cacophony of bad news on a day that I was at least home from work. And then I started thinking instead of just feeling…
How do other people deal with bad news? And as bad as my day has been, it can’t compare to the everyday reality for the parents of a little girl who just died from cancer.
I’m writing this because maybe someone else out there is having a really terrible day. Maybe they’re even thinking that it isn’t worth hanging around. That thought has definitely gone through my head plenty of times in my (relatively) short life.
Here are some of the things I do to get a little distance when life gets too rough.
- Let it out. It’s ok. Sometime you get a shitty hand, and some days, *ahem today* it comes in threes. It’s ok to be mad or sad or anything else, as long as you don’t let it get out of hand. Crying especially is a handy way to release some stress. Just set a time limit on it. Maybe you give yourself an hour or a day to fall apart. Maybe it is a set period of time, say in the time between lunch and picking up the kids at school everyday, for the bigger things like grief.
- It’s ok to hide for awhile. I like to bundle up under covers, lights off and read on my computer, let that world become my own for a little while. Usually I comfort read, but it helps to find something inspiring too. Even if it is just a romance novel or movie where the heroine has much harder luck than you.
- Take a nap.
- Try working out, or going for a walk, or have yourself a mad living room dance party. Whatever works.
- Purge. There are healthier ways to do this than what jumps to mind. You can sort through a closet and find things to donate, delete negative people from a social media account or delete books you hated from your Amazon account, so they stop showing up in your f-ing cloud.
- Embrace the suck. Sometimes a day just can’t be turned around. In this case, try to deal with as many unpleasant tasks as you can, knocking down all those things you have been avoiding for weeks. It can be a relief when they are finally off your chest, and if nothing else, at least they’re finished.
Eventually you have to resurface though. Deal with the problem. Overcome it. There isn’t really much of an alternative, is there.
There are ways to make it less painful though. The Shaytards are a huge inspiration to me. I recommend checking them out but find whatever works for you. Something else that makes me feel better is doing some random act of kindness, whether that is cleaning something up for a housemate, baking muffins or cookies for a neighbour or saying something nice to a complete stranger on the street.
Today I am hibernating, at least until a meeting I have at 9pm to deal with some of the unpleasant business that landed in my lap. But there were two days in the last month when I was out doing errands and apparently looked as down as I felt, because on each of those occasions a complete stranger went out of their way to do or say something incredibly kind and it completely turned my day around. I felt like these women were God-sent angels in disguise. Never doubt the power of a random act of kindness to lighten someone’s burden.
I hope that in some small way, this post reaches someone else who is having a terrible moment and that it reminds them that they are not alone. I care. I want the best for you. And it is just a moment.